How can I fulfill my wishes

Fulfilling your own desires: happiness is yourself!

Stefanie Heinrich aka Miss Peppermint successfully runs her own blog. The 26 year old, who became known through a Focus article, writes on evidero on the subject of happiness.

Part 1: Happiness is not in the future, but in the here and now

When I grow up ... You can hear it from every corner. Save more money. Nicer apartment. Regularly to the gym. Only eat organic products and no longer eat meat at all. A better job and a partner who suits me better ...

When? Later - but definitely not now!

We are constantly postponing our wishes and needs until later. We used to hear ourselves say "When I grow up ...". Sounds good. There is only one small catch: We are already big!

“Once I've lost weight, I'll finally be able to buy the great dress that I've wanted for so long. Then I'll go out again and meet my dream man. ”Losing six pounds is not possible within two weeks. And so you take the dream man again the chance to get to know you. And years later you sit alone and unhappy in the ugly apartment with the lousy job on your neck and without a husband. And thinks "... I would have!"

We have luck in our own hands

It is in our hands. We can decide for ourselves how we want to live and what we want to achieve in our life. To do this, we just have to make it clear what exactly that is. Having your own café can be the personal key to happiness. If the step into self-employment doesn't actually excuse the fact that you don't feel like getting involved in your current job.

First of all, you should consider carefully whether fulfilling your wishes would actually change your life in such a way that you will be happy afterwards. Maybe you just never realized some of your wishes because the current situation is not that bad at second glance.

A list can help. The wish with all its advantages is placed in one column. In the other column comes what you have to do, for example, leave out the goodies in the supermarket, shop less to save money for the new apartment, overcome your weaker self and finally register in the gym, or write applications ...

Still ready? Let's go! To find out what makes us happy, we can only take the step and finally do it!

You don't have to do that right away Hardcore variant choose, quit the apartment, quit the job and take it easy and move to the country. Maybe a vacation in the country is enough for now. And when you then realize that it is not the real thing, you can go back.

Do you really have to change your life, or just your attitude?

But before you change your own life so brutally, you should take one last look carefully. Because as we know: itself is happiness.

Sure, the job demands a lot from us. But isn't the job exactly the one we've been trying for so long?

Sure, the partner is annoying sometimes. But isn't it the other way around? How many common ups and downs have you already got behind you together? Perhaps that depth is just another hurdle in the relationship that can be easily overcome.

Does the apartment really have to give way to a new one? Maybe one will take care of it renovation for a new feeling of wellbeing.

Maybe it will help to find out something in optimism to practice. I'm just saying: self-fulfilling prophecy.

Part 2: am I happy? The first attempt to find out what makes me happy

It's Friday afternoon and I'm sitting in a good mood in my favorite café. I have every reason to be. I only work four hours on Fridays. I also have a huge cup of caramel-flavored coffee in my hand and my best friend is sitting across from me.

I look at him with wide eyes over the rim of my mug as he talks about his plans for the new year. New flat. Already looked at a few but nothing good was found. Yes, with a terrace. But walking through the whole house like that? No it is nothing. Better with a balcony. The girlfriend moves in.

So it should be at least the size of the current apartment. There must be enough space for both of them. And then on vacation in summer. But fly this year. Somewhere warm. City tours are all well and good, but nothing works without a beach. And then a new car. In a couple of weeks. It should be a bit sportier.

Do we always need more to be happy?

I have known Malte and his claims for four years now. And while I sit in silence and listen to his plan, I wonder how I see things. I've had my apartment for three years and it is at best half the size of Malte's. First a cat moved in, then my friend. Then another hangover and another. Nobody here can speak of sufficient space. And for a terrace that leads into the garden, people and animals would give a lot here.

For my part, I would tie a cat on my stomach, one on my back and carry one with both arms - stretched far from the others - through a vacuum cleaner performance, if only it means that the animals will finally be on a tree and don't scratch the wall. And we're not going on vacation. I last saw the North Sea beach seven years ago. We have so many animals to look after on the farm. Who does that when we take two weeks off? And I don't even want to think about my car.

Malte stops talking and looks at me. "And what about you? Are you happy the way it is? ”Happy? Well in any case, I am not unhappy, I think. I shrug my shoulders and say that work is going well.

On the way home, I ponder Malte's question about whether I'm happy. No idea. Everything is the same as always. Just normal. In any case, I am not unhappy. My relationship is intact. I have my dream job and see my friends regularly. I live surrounded by animals and in summer we want to move to the farm. If things go really well, they'll get married even this year. Shit looks different. But am i happy?

What is happiness anyway?

First of all I have to know what happiness is. The Duden says that happiness is one pleasant and joyful frame of mind, in which one finds oneself when one comes into possession or enjoyment of something that one has wished for. That sounds pretty material. But it would explain why Malte only said what was still to be bought.

But is a new car really lucky? I sit down at the computer and write an email in which I ask my friends whether they are happy, what makes them happy and what happiness is for them in general. In the next few days I will receive emails with all kinds of answers. Perfect health, a loving family, and fulfilling work - that is happiness.

Friends and a partner who understands you. Don't have to miss anyone. Your own pets. A new pair of shoes. A successful photo shoot. Take time for yourself. Something that has been postponed for a long time, finally to have done. Implement spontaneous ideas. A new car. Lot of money.

What I liked best was the knowledge of a blogger friend that you can't tie your own happiness to others.

Happiness is slowly taking shape. So I'm on my way to find happiness!

Part 3: The last time I was lucky - a story from my life

Like every third Friday, I sit with Malte in our favorite café.

As always, he was waiting for me at the door. Today he looked at me strangely. What is going on. No high heels. That would be unusual. As we sit at the table, the question again what was going on today. Cocoa? Quite strange. I'll put him off for another time. Not an issue for today.

Malte has been thinking about our last conversation here in the café. At home he noticed that I had evaded his question whether I would be happy. When was I then happy the last time? I think about his question for a moment. No idea. But I also don't know when I was really unhappy last time. It's already good. But when I was lucky the last time, I still remember exactly.

Neck and leg book

That was on a very hot August day last year. My boyfriend and I went to the fish market in Hamburg with friends. I wanted to continue the day comfortably and in the afternoon to go out for an ice cream in intimate togetherness. Maybe grill in the evening. My boyfriend took a completely different view and said the afternoon football game was just the thing.

I was pretty pissed off. The house blessing had been hanging crooked for weeks. Everything happened and had to happen immediately. My requests have been postponed for the time being. There was a lot to do in the yard and instead of spending a Sunday with me, it had to be this one damn soccer game be. A new point to argue about. The call from a dear friend changed my mind. She was there too, and I went to the game to keep her company.

While the soccer game was going into the second half, I read up on my relationship with my girlfriend. I'm getting fed up with it. Every cashier at any supermarket checkout pays me more attention than my own partner. I questioned the entire relationship.

My friend interrupted me. Jörg is on the square. Seems hurt. I just replied that he would get up again. Nevertheless, I took a look at my friend and immediately noticed that something was wrong. Open leg break. Immediately an operation and a week and a half in hospital. I was there every day. In contrast to the people he paid so much attention to in the past few weeks. In the next few months Jörg couldn't do much on his own and I did what was possible for him. And he was grateful. A lot.

Blessing in disguise

Malte wants to know what that has to do with luck.

Jörg's broken leg saved our relationship. Because he couldn't do the everyday things, like showering, on his own, I had to take a lot more back than I was set back in the previous weeks. I have my whole day need to adjust.

During this time Jörg noticed what he got in me. That I don't just want to be entertained, but that I long to spend time with him. And that I am there for him at all times.

I can only do any relationship that is in crisis Break a leg to wish.