How do you calm your partner

Love better - lead a healthy love relationship

In an adult, healthy love relationship, people meet who Take responsibility for your actions. you go loving and respectful of each other and resolve conflicts constructively. you love yourself and each other. But this ideal is not always so easy to implement. The following suggestions should help you on the way to a better love relationship.

Conflicts in love relationships

You certainly also have an ideal idea of ​​how to work together in a partnership. The problem is: in reality, people quarrel with their love relationships. A confrontation can certainly be positive. In these disputes, however, are usually 4-6 year old variations in relationship partners and sulk, buck, insult and vie for personal confirmation or tokens of love. I can reassure you that most people are sure to do that from time to time.

Desire for understanding

If you are arguing with one another in a highly emotional and rather immature way, it helps on the one hand healthy dose of humor (Just be careful: laugh better at yourself than at your partner in a heated argument). It can also be helpful to have the To leave the situation and to look at the whole thing with an emotional distance, from the outside, so to speak. Ask yourself what is really going on right now and what it is about. Or ask your partner this if there is a strong emotional reaction that you cannot understand. Then try together, respectfully and interested in a mutual clarification, to solve the problem. Most disputes often do not require a solution at all, but often that is enough Both feel that they are understood. Differences are better left standing if you notice that both sides are seen and accepted. Wanting to be right does not lead to a common solution.

Communicate wishes and expectations

In a healthy or adult love relationship, the relationship partners know their own wishes and expectations and can formulate them clearly and understandably. It is often expected that the Partner senses and fulfills their own wishes. Failure to do this will lead to disappointment. Both aspects - the expectations as well as the disappointments - are not communicated directly, but only tried to convey subliminally. this leads to Frustration and a sense of distance on both sides. It is in both interests, however, that they are important Communicate wishes clearly, in words. To do this, of course, you first have to become aware of what you expect and want from the other person.

Express your own limits

Let us now assume that one partner is their own Has communicated wishes or needs. The second common mistake often occurs here: the other person does not want to fulfill this - and has problems communicating this lovingly but firmly. Allow yourself your own limitn and express it! Only with Self love and own limits, an adult relationship with mutual love can succeed. The partner who expressed the wishes should now in turn accept that the other person is not there to constantly fulfill one's own desires.

Learn to accept “no”

One should and may express wishes - and the other person in turn has them free choice to meet them or not. Sulking and being offended has no place here - however, pay attention to the "no" and the limits of the other! You have to practice this first because your own parents have often not set an example for this either. Many spouses who cannot talk well with each other exert pressure on one another with emotional blackmail and thus enforce their wishes. Even the romantic ideal of the prince who fulfills all dreams is of course quite different from an adult relationship.

We wish you have fun on the way to an adult, healthy love affair! Be patient with yourself and your partner while doing this. If you get stuck at one point and need professional support, we will be happy to advise you.

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