I was born to be single

Psychology: The often underestimated advantages of living single

Those who are not in a stable partnership for a longer period of time are often viewed with suspicion by those around them. The person concerned quickly ends up behind closed doors in the drawer “unable to relate”, “recluse” or “complicated personality”.

However, a number of soloists persistently declare themselves very satisfied with their relationship status. The loner mentality is particularly popular in large cities: In Berlin, for example, there are now more single-person households than multi-person households.

A US psychologist confirmed with a comprehensive study research that the alleged satisfaction is not a comforting self-deception. In fact, many singles experience their everyday life as fulfilled; they are also more likely to grow and develop psychologically than their married counterparts. Bella DePaulo presented her findings at the Congress of Psychologists in Denver, Colorado.

Benefits are rarely mentioned

Because there are many prejudices about the dangers of loneliness, the immense benefits of being alone are often not mentioned, explains the researcher at the University of California at Santa Barbara. It would be high time to paint a correct picture of singles and their living conditions. This should also mention the stability and strengths of singles, as well as all the things that would make a solo existence meaningful.

DePaulo cites older studies that have already suggested that singles place more value on a meaningful job than married people. In addition, singles are better networked with parents, siblings, friends, neighbors and colleagues. A marriage, on the other hand, slows down such contacts.

In 814 different studies, DePaulo often found the study object single to be more of a marginal note - mostly in the comparison group, in order to analyze the sensitivities of married couples. Research projects that focus on unattached people are rather rare.

Self-determination with a high value

The comparative studies showed that self-determination is more important for soloists and that they consciously experience continuous personal development.

People who live permanently alone and are very independent are more likely to experience fewer negative emotions. Amazingly, the opposite is the case for married couples.

Given the fact that marriage is promoted by state institutions and that married couples enjoy numerous financial advantages, it is all the more astonishing that singles also go their way happily.