Why do certain feelings never go away?

Why doesn't he love me anymore? What it can show

The feelings become less, the mutual respect for one another dwindles, one even occasionally becomes too much: Sometimes what was once so great and intimate disappears. Then everything revolves around the question: Why doesn't he love me anymore?

Everything is so beautiful when you're freshly in love: You want to be close to the other every second, your heart beats to your neck. The endorphins go crazy and ensure a constant glow, the famous rose-colored glasses are constant companions. This phase of the relationship, which scientists call the Limerence phase, is followed by a phase of deep love and trust after about three years. Everyday life and routine are part of it, but are perceived as normal in a functioning loving relationship. You know each other, live together, plan vacations, support each other and take an interest in each other, laugh together and do things together. Unfortunately, it can also be very different during this time ...

Doesn't he love me anymore? Look out for these signs

Before doing this, make sure that just because you no longer pounce on each other doesn't mean the feelings go away - they have just changed. Nevertheless, there are inherent parts of a loving relationship, no matter what phase it is in, whose disappearance can point to an end. This includes respect, closeness, attention and interest in one another. This is how you can tell whether your relationship can still be saved.

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The question of "Why doesn't he love me anymore?" Can of course not really be answered that explicitly. Only he will know the reasons, but maybe he doesn't know them at all. Because: Love is a feeling, and if it is not about a breach of trust or a deep injury that can also lead to the loss of love, the feeling can simply disappear over time. The question of why cannot then be tied to a break or a specific reason. But you can see which signs can point to the loss of love.

1. Why doesn't he touch me anymore?

If there is no longer a kiss to greet you, no more cuddles on the couch and no more caresses in bed, then it can be the first sign that the feelings are cooling off. Because: Everyone who is in love and happy shows affection for his partner and, conversely, also needs the partner's closeness. It is less about the regularity of the exchange of tenderness, but about the general existence of the same.

Simply being hugged and cuddled, caressing your head, cuddling asleep in bed or walking through the city holding hands: If none of this happens, the first alarm bells should ring.

2. Why is he no longer interested in my life?

"Honey, how was your day?" probably the most common question within a partnership. If you love each other and lead a life together, then you are also interested in the life of the other. You want to know what the other is doing, where he is, when he'll be home, what things to do in the next week. When that kind of interest no longer exists, love is indeed bad.

3. Why do we only have factual and organizational topics of conversation?

To be absorbed in conversations about God and the world at a romantic dinner and to be unable to leave your partner's lips at all - this is only certain at the beginning of a love relationship. But if you only talk about who has to pick up the children, when and where, when the in-laws come to visit or that the car has to go to the workshop, you should be careful. Especially when the other person's gaze is cloudy, disinterested and bored during the conversation.

4. Why does he no longer have any praise or recognition for me?

Everyone needs recognition and compliments - but especially women from their husbands or partners! Be it for work or for the pretty new dress that puts your figure particularly well in the limelight. If that recognition and attention are suddenly lacking, it is not a good sign.

5. Why is there no quarrel and he doesn't care about anything?

When couples don't argue, the relationship is perfect, many think. In fact, every relationship and marriage needs a constructive argument here and there. However, if the partner avoids any confrontation because he simply doesn't care about anything - even flirting with others! - then the feelings are in danger. It is therefore obvious that quarreling can help every now and then because it symbolizes interest. Still, everyone should be careful to avoid certain fight killers.

6. Why does he prefer to work overtime instead of spending time together?

Another indication that the feelings have cooled off: the partner takes refuge in work overtime or is suddenly increasingly only pursuing his hobbies instead of spending time with the partner. Those who are happily forgiven don't jeopardize their relationship for career or hobbies.

7. Why does he seek sexual happiness outside of the relationship?

Exceptions always confirm the rule - however, if you laugh at each other and seek sexual happiness outside of the relationship, you no longer have feelings for your partner. The separation really only needs to be pronounced. But don't be unnecessarily unsettled where there is no reason to do so. As always, speaking helps! Still, it's worth keeping an eye out for signs that men are cheating. And: don't confuse an affair with an affair! Better confess to save the relationship - or maybe not? An expert knows what to do.

8. What helps?

If you want to save your relationship despite all these red flags, you have to work hard on it. Above all, both partners have to want it! What helps are mindfulness towards the other and conversations, as a real exchange of feelings, hopes, wishes and goals for the future.

But even joint ventures that bring joy and at the same time give security and security can weld together again and rekindle feelings. Here you can read how you can recognize a happy relationship.

What is very important, however, is the willingness to see that every action has an impact on the partner and that the relationship has needs that must not be neglected.


By the way, there are a number of warning signs in relationship phases that are precisely described and analyzed by experts. You can also read tips on how to use it here!

Some people may also think about a break in the relationship that could save love if there is a crisis. But you should think carefully about that.

Where there is a will, there's a way. If a couple interprets the signals together early on or doesn't let it get that far in the first place, they have a good chance of saving their love. And sometimes the masters of creation are just very subtle: This is how men say "I love you" in very different ways ...

Looking for more about relationship tips? Take a look at our topic page!