What to throw away from a narcissist

narcissistic personality disorder

The narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a lack of self-confidence and rejection of oneself inwardly, often alternating with exaggerated and very pronounced self-confidence on the outside. Therefore, these people are always on the lookout for admiration and recognition, whereby they pay little real attention to other people because they themselves have an exaggerated feeling of importance and thus think that they have a special position and deserve it. In many cases they show exploitative behavior and a lack of empathy, sometimes delusional disorders with delusions of megalomania and not infrequently they destroy what others have built out of envy. It is not uncommon for there to be a high degree of self-pity, with complaints often being woven in to secure the care of others. The perception of the factual is also often blurred and is either embellished in favor of one's own personality or parts of reality are deliberately falsified or left out in order to restore the goal of recognition.

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an overly pronounced self-image, egocentricity and the stringent demand for attention and admiration. Usually these people show little empathy, which can lead to the exploitation of other people. The causes of the pathological narcissism have not yet been fully clarified, but a genetic disposition is usually assumed, because narcissism occurs more frequently in some families, but this can also be explained by socialization. Narcissism is also a disorder that can be exacerbated by a culture that values ​​performance and status very highly.

While a narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by the fact that those affected are constantly looking for recognition, the similar one is content histrionic personality disorder with the attention it gets when trying to seem helpless and pitiful, which a narcissist never does.

Pure narcissism as a personality disorder is rather rare, but narcissistic personality components are more common in many people. It is estimated that five percent of people have strong narcissistic traits, of which 75 percent are men. Adult narcissism manifests itself in many facets, and it is often combined with other personality disorders. The narcissist himself is a victim, namely the victim of his childhood, whereby the disorder is often the reaction to abuse, whereby this abuse can be not only physical, sexual, but also verbal or emotional. As a child, narcissists were often placed on an imaginary pedestal and too much was asked of them, with the child acting as an object, the boundary between child and parent being dissolved. If one or both parents are narcissistic, there is a high probability that the child will develop narcissistic traits for protection, for example in the case of constant negative criticism. Relationships to a narcissist usually go through a typical cycle: idealization - devaluation - throwing away. Sooner or later, but especially in old age, narcissists implode, because there is a vacuum inside them, they have no self of their own, only that which they can take from others, such as attention and admiration.

A psychotherapy can bring about a further development and change in narcissists, both with those affected and with their relatives, whereby those affected can experience in therapy that they are accepted, that they do not have to do anything or have to appear particularly grandiose in order to receive recognition. Once narcissists have this experience, they are better able to accept themselves and develop. Narcissists can learn in therapy that they don't depend so much on outside admiration. Partner of narcissists must try to formulate their own claims, d. In other words, the narcissist has to realize that the other person is a personality of his own, but at the same time a narcissist often needs distance, which must also be accepted as best as possible by the partner. In many cases, a partner who has fallen into the narcissistic trap is only advised to break up, because the suffering for the partner often becomes extremely high, and despite the numerous humiliations they find it particularly difficult to leave a narcissist. The cause of this form of dependence is the memory of the romantic beginnings, the great amount of admiration and love that one received. In between there were phases for those affected where almost everything was as it was at the beginning, which tempted the partner to hold onto the relationship (Principle of intermittent reinforcement). Narcissist partners also often have the hope of finding the magical key to their relationship and adapt in their own behavior for a long time.

A self-chosen victim role has narcissistic traits

Incidentally, in recent years, according to some researchers, one Culture of the victim role Widespread in western societies, because in a survey of several thousand people, up to a third of those questioned stated that they had already played the victim to achieve a goal. The more sincere someone seemed, the more likely they were to be helped. This aspect of a personality is among other things narcissistic embossed or sometimes wears psychopathic Trains. A victim role sometimes ensures respect and courtesy in other people, with such "victims" then behaviors are tolerated that would never be accepted by others, which is probably the primary goal of people who take on this role.


Stangl, W. (2020). Narcissism - A Personality Disorder. [werner stangl] s worksheets.
WWW: https://arbeitsblaetter.stangl-taller.at/KOGNITIVEENTWICKLUNG/Narzissmus.shtml (2020-07-11).

Using an article in the OÖN of January 22, 2015.

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