Who is psychologically perfect

Perfectionism: The Myth of the Perfect Life

Until a few weeks ago there was a postcard on my fridge with the motto “Not perfect is also good.” I occasionally forget that, because the perfectionism that is exemplified in the media and social networks does not leave me without a trace. The perfect life, it seems, is possible. And it irritated me that it was obviously not enough to shine in just one area. No, there have to be several. Job, partnership and family. Of course, we don't just do “any” job that pays the bills, but one that fulfills us. It is best if we follow our calling straight away and live our dream. And of course your free time is also great. If you just want to watch a few episodes of your favorite series with the oversupply of cultural or sporting activities, you will probably be a very poor drink. Especially since this type of leisure time activities are not doing particularly well on social networks.

Perfectionism is acceptable - but nobody wants to be a perfectionist

It's not that perfectionism is a modern invention - it has always been around. But he has changed. A few years ago it seemed perfectly legitimate to do something really good and to admit it. Athletes, for example, who told before their competition what kind of training they had undertaken. And today? Is there showmaker Usain Bolt, who casually and apparently effortlessly runs into one sense of achievement after the next. What do I learn from this? Perfectionism is still ubiquitous - but nobody likes perfectionists. Just as important as the result is this certain nonchalance with which you set off for high-altitude flights. Our efforts are not worth mentioning - everything falls into our lap. Or, as the saying goes: Never let them see you sweat.

Everyday perfectionism even occupies researchers

Psychologist Dr. Christine Altstötter-Gleich (University of Koblenz-Landau) deals with perfectionism research and she notices that we are increasingly evaluating other people according to different performance criteria. You look good? Are you sporty? What kind of job do you have? We evaluate - and as a result, of course, we ourselves increasingly have the feeling that we have to deliver top performance. After all, we don't want to fall through the cracks. At the same time, the niches disappear into which all those who no longer meet these standards can withdraw. The pressure to become more and more perfect is increasing. A vicious circle. But what for? Sheryl Sandberg, the Facebook CEO who combines career and family, writes in her book:

"If you want everything and expect to get" everything "perfect, disappointment is inevitable." [1]

 
Sobering about a woman who seems to lead a pretty perfect life according to the performance criteria. Gloria Steinem (American feminist, journalist and suffragette) also says:

“Everything does not work. Nobody can do two full-time jobs, have perfect children, cook three meals a day and have multiple orgasms until dawn ... Superwoman is the antagonist of the women's movement. "[2]

 

Perfectionism? Without me

Perhaps not surprising that the postcard mentioned at the beginning comes from a so-called “mind style magazine”. A well-being magazine with a considerable circulation in which deceleration, mindfulness and minimalism are marketed as a new lifestyle. An alternative to the world in which everything revolves around the perfectionism that troubles more and more people. Me too. The way to admit to yourself that “not perfect is also good” is likely to be paved with perfect stumbling blocks under constant media fire, and a postcard will not be enough. But I'm sticking to it. And when my perfectionism gains the upper hand again, then I remember a sentence by ldikó von Kürthy: "It's a bad vice of our time that we believe we shouldn't stay the way we are." [3] Sad . What a senseless waste of life and joy of life. And a dubious luxury that I no longer want to afford.

 

Source:
[1 + 2] "Lean in" (ISBN-13: 978-3548375496) by Sheryl Sandberg, Ullstein Verlag
[3] "Neuland" (ISBN-13: 978-3805250863) Ildikó von Kürthty, Wunderlich Verlag

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