Are Colombian boys big or small?
Are you beautiful enough for colombia?
That's not nice, is it? I was a bit shocked when I saw a flyer in my gym showing a woman with a six-pack posing. With abdominal muscles like those men usually have on Calvin Klein posters. On the way home from training ... to the hostel, I mean ... I wonder if I've missed any beauty trend reversal. Wasn't it just always important for women to be slim somehow? Maybe the bar is just higher with so many beautiful people here. In fact, I had seen women in the gym doing much harder work than many men. At the hostel I ask Pilar for advice. She is beautiful, she might know. She says that Photoshop was used to help on the flyer. Then she proudly announces that she has a six-pack too. And that without sport. Your good friends are accordingly jealous of you. By the way, sixpack is called Chocolatina here. Based on a regional chocolate brand. In Germany we call trained abdominal muscles like a six-pack beer. And here one orientates oneself on chocolate, whereby one could certainly not call the Colombians masters of the chocolate art. What does that say about culture?
Don Felipe, who lived in Germany for a long time and is in the hostel almost every evening, brings a friend with him. She is lovesick. We drink rum. She says that this is how the men are here. You want six pack abs, big breasts and a big bottom. Many who cannot keep up turn to silicone. Big butt? That, too, is somehow different to Germany. Or? Don Felipe says that I would not have paid any attention even in Germany.
I meet Alejandro, whom I met on my involuntary 30-hour bus ride to the coast, in his hometown of Bogotá. As a German, he wants to prove to me that Colombia also has good beer. We are sitting in the Bogotá Beer Company and there are 4 tasting glasses in front of me. Either I've already lost my German beer taste buds, or this Colombian art of brewing just doesn't know how to convince. I choose the beer that tastes most like water. I've got used to that by now. Then I direct the conversation to big female bos. Alejandro is single right now. So he's something of an expert on beautiful women. "Do you like big butts?" I ask. He laughs. “It's too much here,” he says. Then he pulls out his smartphone to show me something. Together we leaf through an online underwear catalog. Initially without success. In fact, the models are more like the European ideal of slimness. Eventually it gets rounder and we both have to smile a bit. “That's nothing! The models used to be such that they could have perfectly balanced beer bottles on their bums. "
And me? Am I actually beautiful?
Despite three weeks in the fitness studio in Medellin, it wasn't quite enough for a six-pack. But the fact that I'm blonde definitely helps. A lot. :-) While I am only laughed at tiredly in Germany with my street-dog blonde, I am the rock star here!
I was having a coffee with Doña Patricia in Candelaria, the old town of Bogotá, when suddenly a group of schoolgirls rushed towards us. “Una foto por favor” “One photo please” I suspect that the girls recognized me as a good photographer right away. But they want a photo WITH me! ... Hehe ... I'm flattered. Later, the blonde Dutch women Wendy & Martha in Salento will tell me that this is what happens to them all the time. Photography is still better than the stare and the mysterious hissing of some local men. In contrast, my schoolgirls were good.
Bogotá (I was there longer ... and twice),
Sometimes you meet unusual people in friendly places. I don't remember exactly how I got into conversation with Richard. I think I was staring at the light blonde hair (?) And suddenly it became a kind of conversation. He is fluent in English and tells me that he used to be a model in the US. Nobody believe him that he is almost 70. He swears that it hasn't been lifted. His secret recipe is a machine that he uses for half an hour every day to smooth all important areas of the skin. And that for many, many years. “The sooner you start, the better!” Then he looks at me pityingly. "The light skin type ages very quickly and very ugly" I was aware that a few laugh lines had already formed around the eye area and my cheeks are not ideal either. I look at him closely, and in fact the region around his eyes is "as smooth as a baby's bottom" as he himself confirms. “Buy that machine!” He calls after me when I leave the friendly place.
About double standards
Reader: Aha! So yes. Gregório Jones writes cockily that people only appear here with a photo and name if he can say something nice about them, and then that. Poor Richard is presented in the best tabloid manner and finally on Facebook, Twitter and ridiculed the Internet in front of a global audience. Somehow it wasn't to be expected otherwise!
G.J .: No, dear attentive reader. Now you are judging too quickly. I believe there is a part of us that makes fun of Richard. But there is another part of us that has been pondering for about ten lines how to get hold of this machine. Certainly not all of us, but some of us. And to prove that, I integrated a link to the machine. (Data protection notice: I can measure if you click ;-))
Have fun staying beautiful! :-)
Your Gregório Jones
P.S .: Anyone who is beautiful enough is welcome to share the story.
The best thing about traveling is all of the unexpected encounters. The adventurous travel writer Gregório Jones has been traveling on a mission since his sabbatical in South America: Catching Smiles around the Globe.All postsWebsite
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