What makes a disabled person feel stronger

Loneliness knows many faces.

Less compassion and more acceptance

If you come across a person in a wheelchair in everyday life, some people can be tempted to offer them help. Perhaps the wheelchair user is happy about the commitment shown and gladly accepts that he will be helped over a tricky threshold. At most, he gratefully refuses the additional muscle power. But maybe he feels offended by the offer and offends himself away. Many people with a visible handicap are sure to get helping hands stretched out over and over again. Most of them have been living with their limitations for some time, if not all of life, and they know how to help themselves in all situations. The constant help can create the feeling of just arousing pity. And nobody wants that. Like healthy people, people with an illness or disability want to be able to move through their environment in an integrated and accepted manner and not feel like a patronized toddler. As already mentioned, the handicap should never be the focus and that has to be made clear to both sides.

ÒÀÜDonòÀt staring at me like that! »

Everyone has already had a difficult phase. Dealing with yourself and your body is part of growing up and confronts you sooner or later. Feelings such as anger and rejection of the environment as well as of oneself can arise suddenly and often result in temporary withdrawal. But with a mental or physical disability, as well as with an illness, those affected have to face it on a different level. Even people who suffer from a handicap from birth are suddenly confronted with the fact that they are not so good at certain things or will never be able to do certain things that colleagues of the same age do. Such facts that suddenly become clear hurt and of course have the consequence that those affected have to chew on them for a while. The feeling of being stared at all the time can also make you suspicious, cynical and negative about your environment. In the worst case, the expected rejection of the other person does not allow a relationship at all, although one would like more social contact.

Family is important, but so is friendship

Especially when a disability or illness has existed since birth, it is clear that the family and, if necessary, the nursing staff will take care of those affected. Attending a normal school is not possible at all. You don't grow up completely isolated, but you just spend the days with your parents, any siblings and carers. However, contact with peers is also extremely important for normal development. In the case of a handicap, it is of course an advantage if you can also exchange ideas with people who have met the same fate. Because nobody knows as well about their own feelings and problems as someone who is going through exactly the same thing. Since you lived under your parents' eagle eyes for years and only had few friends, it is more than normal to be shy. Shame can also prevent people with disabilities from meeting new people. You may still struggle to accept yourself like this and do not want to be a burden to anyone. In addition to special courses in which one learns with targeted training to be able to approach others more confidently and to come to terms with oneself, the internet can also help to strengthen social contacts. Because thanks to the web, you can contact each other anonymously and independently of time and place. For example, you can blog about your life and your feelings and thus draw attention to yourself. Or you choose the direct route and chat with new acquaintances. Since friendship on a purely virtual basis cannot be really satisfying in the long term and does not replace real social contact, meetings in real life are of course always the best remedy for loneliness.


Important NOTE: "Social contact" does not see itself as a dating agency.