Women's problem with me

understand women 8 important lessons that will change the way you view women

Understanding a woman as a man appears to be a daring undertaking at first sight. There are reports in which one should rather try to learn Chinese, save Greece or vacuum the Sahara rather than understand a woman.

So why understand women at all? Why bother? Because it's easier than many men think. I admit there are some quirks and behaviors of the female sex that are unlikely to be understood even by women. Others, however, do.

Accordingly, this article cannot be understood as a complex work entitled “Understanding Women - A Comprehensive Guide”, but rather as a few additional patches added to the carpet of understanding.

Understanding women - no problem if you get this
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We love them for this emotionality. What would we men be without women? We would be tough, rational and logical. And unhappy with it. Understanding women means feeling their emotions and giving them constancy. Because while the female hormone level fluctuates, that of men remains almost constant.

We men stick to a decision once we have made it. That makes us manly and so attractive to women. Because this is how we give them the security that is so important in their fluctuating emotionality. If a woman is emotional around you, be persistent. Do not get lost in the content of their words. This content is important. However, it is much more important that you give her security in her emotionality.

  • So if a woman is crying, don't try to appease her with good advice. Be there for her, hold her in your arms and give her security.
  • If a woman argues loudly and hysterically with you, don't go into her argument, but show her that your word carries weight and draw clear lines - especially if she tries to cross them.
  • And when a woman laughs from the bottom of her soul and dances with joy, let yourself fall into her femininity and enjoy her emotionality.

Table of contents of the article

2. Understanding women means leading women

Not all men are born to lead. And not all women love to be led. Sometimes the feminine side is stronger in men, just as the masculine side can be stronger in some women.

I have found for myself that the majority of women want to surrender. You don't want to think about what your evening planning looks like now, how exactly the next steps for the common goal are, and also not about the innumerable eventualities that can await you. Women want to enjoy the evening, they want to hear beautiful stories, experience common goals and above all feel the certainty that you know where to go.

But women not only let us take the lead when planning the evening together, but also when it comes to long-term decisions. Especially with subliminal relationship problems, women really wait for us men to take our courage and address the problem. Women tend to be more in need of harmony than men. For this reason it is us men who speak out what is going on!

If you want to understand women, learn to lead them:

  • Make more decisions about what you do together. Cinema, walking, cooking, going out to eat, watching a movie ... When you're together, take the lead and make the decisions.
  • Include the woman in your decision with closed questions. Don't make the mistake of asking her what she would like to do tonight. Ask her if she wants to spend the evening with Lisa, Max and Georg, or if you'd rather watch a film in comfort as a couple.
  • Address subliminal conflicts openly and directly. This is your male role.
  • Don't be dogmatic. If you notice that the woman now wants to take the lead, let yourself go. Surrender to it and be surprised what happens next.

Male leadership has nothing to do with macho behavior. It is the product of a tradition that is thousands of years old and which can be broken from time to time.

3. Understanding women means addressing women

A woman who wants to be spoken to by you expresses this in three possible ways.

  1. She approaches you more or less directly and engages you in a conversation. (Very very rare)
  2. She looks at you long and straight, only to go back to her usual job. Maybe she looks over at you every now and then, only to look away again, embarrassed. (Happened quite often)
  3. Or she behaves as if she doesn't see you and doesn't do anything that could indicate from the outside that she wants to be spoken to. In the best case scenario, you know that this woman wants to be approached by you because she is near you. (The rule)

No matter how many hidden signals a woman sends out, you can never be sure. Maybe she wants to be spoken to by you and that's why she doesn't send any signals at all. Maybe she doesn't really want to be approached and sends signals to test her “market value”.

Understanding women means not knowing when is a good time to speak to them. Understanding women means taking your courage and saying "hello". It is her decision whether she will accept your referral or not. Of course, your offer can be formulated very well. But you cannot decide whether it will be accepted or not.


  • If you find a woman interesting, talk to her
  • The best pick-up line is still the good old "Hello"
  • If you are too afraid to approach a woman, deal with your comfort zone and strengthen your manhood
  • Always remember: your only job is to make offers. The woman decides on the outcome of the offer.

4. Understanding women means seducing women

If you want to seduce women, these 3 steps are crucial.

(1) You have to understand how women think

Know about the femininity of women. Accept that they are emotional, erratic, and often undecided. They are there to get us men out of our top-heavy world and to bring them in connection with our hearts. If you want to seduce women, you should know that they are waiting for your first step. Regardless of whether you are speaking to someone, kissing or asking about another date. Women are there to decline or accept our offers. If you have understood this in depth, you have understood what it means to seduce women.

(2) You have to live your manhood

A hot flirt is the game between female and male polarity. When you surround yourself with true male friendships, you are aware of your man and know what you want from life, you will stir up the irrepressible fire of your inner masculinity. If this fire is blazing inside you, you don't have to do anything masculine. No! Your whole being radiates masculinity. And this masculinity acts like a beacon for female women.

(3) Do

Seducing women means making offers. If you say "Hello", you are making the offer to meet them for the first time. When you ask for their phone number, you're signaling an offer to see you again. And when you lean over to kiss, you offer her intimacy. All of these offers can be answered with a yes, a no and also a maybe. But an offer has to be made made otherwise there can be no seduction.

You can find a complete guide on seducing women in the blog article “Seducing women - What women really want” or in more detail in our free e-mail course: Dating for Adults.

5. Understanding women means being tested in terms of your masculinity

It's easy for us men. We see a woman and she has great tits, a great ass, a great figure or other preferred external characteristics and we find her attractive. According to our biological programming, we men look for a woman who can bear our offspring.

Women are looking for men who can protect these offspring in the long term. Because of this, women keep testing our masculinity. Whether in a flirting, in a relationship or in a long-term marriage, a woman makes sure again and again whether she is facing a real man or just a boy who has grown up.

I've seen women avoid my attempts at flirting over and over again, only to give themselves to me with relish on the last big attempt. They wanted to know “how serious I am about her”, these women told me in retrospect. I have seen women in a relationship try again and again to defy my boundaries. Before, when I still allowed that, it was usually the beginning of the end of our mutual relationship. And I've seen women question the whole partnership the moment we got serious, but the moment they realized I was calm and steadfast, they came back into my arms.

Women test us men. As a man, you can think what you want of that. It doesn't change the fact that women test us. I haven't met a woman who doesn't do that. No matter how beautiful or ugly, how stupid or intelligent, or how conscious or unconscious she was. Women test our manhood. Point.

Now if you're wondering what exactly these tests are and what are the best answers to those tests, let me ask you a few better questions: Who are you as a man? What is your manhood? Who are your best friends? What is your mission in this world When feel are you male?

If you can answer these questions, you'll pass any woman's test. You don't pass because you know the answer. You pass it because you are the answer. There are some really interesting exercises in our email lessons that will help you become a powerful, strong man when dealing with women.

6. Understanding women means satisfying women

Women are even more lustful than we men. They are so much more connected to their feelings and emotions and that is why they love to satisfy this emotional pleasure so much. But anyone who only thinks about sex right now has not understood the range of female pleasure.

Of course, great sexual pleasure is the supreme discipline. But lust and its satisfaction has many facets. When was the last time you cooked your loved one extensively or did you go to a good restaurant together? When was the last time you took them out to dance? When was the last time you gave her a real gift of love? And when were you just there for her during sex instead of eagerly awaiting her or your orgasm?

Understanding women in this case means once again to understand that women are emotional beings.

If you really want to please women, do this:

  • Make it clear to yourself that you cannot please a woman who does not want to be satisfied. It is not your job to give the all-encompassing orgasmic pleasure satisfaction over all their blockages. Once again, you can only make offers that she can or cannot accept.
  • Find out what the woman especially likes and give her exactly that. With this you are not only giving her a special gift, but at the same time making her happy with real attention. Some women like more expensive gifts and still others prefer creative gifts. For some women, time is the deciding factor for others, intensity. Find out (in bed but also outside) what your wife really likes and give her this gift. Don't make the mistake of asking her what she would particularly like. In my opinion, very few women can give you a qualified answer. Try yourself out and pay attention to the woman's reaction.
  • There are countless variations and types of play, especially in bed. Whether licking, fingering, squirting, SM, dirty talk, partner massages or tantra ... there are more game variants than opportunities to try them out. When trying out, always look for a healthy mix between a familiar routine and a daring adventure.

7. Understanding women means loving women

No matter how hard you try and no matter how many blog articles and books you read, understanding women remains an unapproachable goal for us men. When we think we have made it, women surprise us with unpredictable behavior.

If you want to understand women, you have to love not understanding. You have to love women. The way they are. Sometimes irrational, then again carefully and wisely. Sometimes spontaneously, then again waiting and careful. Sometimes strong, then weak and fearful again. Women are women. Loving them in their polarity is what makes us men men. For this reason, the next point in understanding women is the most crucial!

8. Understanding women doesn't happen overnight

Do you think reading one article is enough to understand women? If you really want to know what women are all about, it is also worth living your own male polarity. If you know what this manhood means for you in your male identity, you will perceive women as the natural opposite of your own sexuality.

To understand women, you have to understand yourself too. That said, it's about a lot more than just knowing what makes women tick.

If you gradually go through a development in which you become an increasingly attractive man, at some point you will no longer need to want to understand women by simply living your male polarity.

About the author:

My name is Sven and I am a male coach. When Martin & I founded Strengthening Masculinity in 2013, we had no idea what kind of revolution we would trigger in the German-speaking world of men.

Today millions of men visit this blog, watch our videos on Youtube or eagerly read our free e-mail training. Hundreds of these men set out every year to rekindle the power of their masculinity in our men’s workshop, Authentic Manhood.

I would be happy to meet you there in person soon.

With male greetings