Why shouldn't I marry you
10 reasons why you shouldn't get married as a city dweller
Getting married is still very trendy. Not just in the country. Even in the big city, the dream wedding with a horse-drawn carriage, huge party and extremely happy bride and groom at photo shoots is very popular. We take 10 arguments for marriage under the microscope and tell you why you'd better not get married anyway should.
Perhaps you have already experienced it: All of a sudden, the marriage boom in the circle of friends starts. As soon as your first friend's wedding invitation hits your mailbox, an epidemic seems to break out. More will follow soon. You wonder if you're not normal because you still prefer to party and hang out with friends rather than find a partner for life. But no worry! The ten most common reasons for marriage can be refuted in no time.
If du found someone who suits you, then hold onto them. Have you ever been to a dating site or used one of these dating apps? So no portals where it's all about sex dates, like at Treffpunkt18.de, but about finding partners to fall in love with. If so, you have probably noticed how inexhaustible the selection of good-looking, interesting people with regular incomes is. Especially in the big city you can easily have 7 dates a week with lots of attractive people who suit you. So why marry the first person you meet?
Your love is very special. That's what all freshly crushed couples say at the beginning. Sure, when you're in love things look pretty rosy at first. The famous rose-colored glasses only let us see the good sides of the new partner. Of course, we ourselves also try to please him or her. In the long run, that is quite exhausting. At the latest after the first tangible argument, the real face comes to the fore and suddenly the ideal couple's world crumbles. So, better to wait and see if the love lasts than sprinting in front of the next altar.
Marriage gives security. House, car, children, mom at the stove, dad brings the money home ... Marriage as an institution has secured previous generations, especially financially. Romance and fun mostly fell by the wayside, instead duties were fulfilled. Do you have a job, stand on your own two feet, like to dance the night away and flit out of someone else's apartment the next morning? Then enjoy your life and don't look desperately for a security that may have been of existential importance for your great-grandparents, but which you no longer need today. It is especially easy to live in anonymous cities. Nobody squints diagonally across the garden fence when your one night stand sneaks out the door in the morning or you stumble tipsy from the club into your apartment at night.
E.r or she loves and accepts you for who you are. Really? Does he even know you without makeup? Don't you always kick the dirty laundry under your bed before it comes into your room? Nobody can accept the other for who they really are as long as they only know their good side. In addition, many properties increase over the years. For example, she can talk like a waterfall, he is more of a silent person who only answers after a short period of reflection. In such a case, some women feel called to step in and answer on their behalf. Until, after a couple of years of marriage, he says nothing more. At most, that she should definitely lose a few pounds. So don't rush to get married.
Getting married is so romantic. No, it is a legal act. That is why the wedding takes place in an office. According to rules that have been in place for hundreds of years and some of them have long since become obsolete. Why do most women adopt their husbands name even if their own sounds much nicer? Double names a la Knüller-Knallermann are not a real alternative, are they? And why are not all people still allowed to marry who feel affectionately connected? Is the fact of which gender you are sexually attracted to an official criterion that decides whether to marry or only to partner? Quite apart from that, the stress of preparing a huge party has little to do with romance. But with a high organizational and financial effort.
Marriage brings financial benefits through tax savings. Shortest counter-argument: Yes, but only until the divorce! The fact is that after the wedding, one of the two partners (usually the wife) often works shortened and takes care of the household and children. The bottom line is that there is far less money left than before. Savings, like any debts, are shared in the event of a divorce.
The marriage promise means love and loyalty to the end of life. The statistics say otherwise. More than every third marriage ends in divorce. "Why buy a whole cow when I want to drink a glass of milk every now and then?" Say many opponents. What sounds so casual is a serious argument. The sexual attraction of the once so coveted partner diminishes over the years. In a big city like Berlin in particular, you meet countless people every day. The probability that there is not now and then one of them that causes you to tingle in your stomach is almost zero. And then? Every second person cheats at least once in their life.
Everything is easier / nicer together. There is something true. But: who have you been out with in the last few years? In the disco, in the theater, at the opening of a new trendy bar? Who helped you paint the apartment? Repaired your bike? Sweat with you in the gym? Who made you smile again when you were grieved? - Weren't there always friends who were there for you and were happy to help you? Do you really expect your spouse to be Superman or Superwoman? Perfect lover, romantic, joker, serious conversation partner, soul comforter, gifted craftsman, organizational talent, culture lover, sports fanatic, gourmet and culinary artist ... Nobody likes to be lonely, but that doesn't mean you have to get married right away.
The family expects us to get married. You alone determine your life! It is not a sign of weakness these days to go through the world single. Do you live with a partner and you are happy without a marriage certificate? Great! Don't let those around you put pressure on you. Enjoy life for two, give each other your freedom, take responsibility for children together, if any should be there.
Marriage strengthens the relationship. Why should something suddenly get better in a marriage that may have worked more badly than right before? Marriage is not the glue that holds a crumbling relationship together. Not a child, by the way! Think of all the single mothers in Berlin's trendy family district Prenzlauer Berg. In the seeming security of marriage, many people try even less. And regardless of whether you are married or not, a suitcase is packed quickly and the door is thrown into the lock. Except that a divorce and possible maintenance claims (which, by the way, men can also claim!) Make the separation unnecessarily complicated and expensive.
Conclusion: Life in a big city is far too colorful and varied to be shared with just one person in the long term. Go out, have fun, maintain your friendships, meet new people. Change hair color, dress size, apartment, job and partner when you alone think it's right. And don't submit to the outdated tradition of getting married just so that Aunt Erna can say: "Now the child is still grown up." Happy parties with friends, family, giant cake and funny photo shoots can be celebrated again and again. Without having to sign a form beforehand at an office that subjects two people to outdated rules.
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