When were Indian motorcycles invented?
1. Indian traffic rules are mainly based on the KARMA, the belief that the fate of a person after death depends on his deeds in his previous life, which the Indian driver understands as a call to a courageous and passionate driving style. He does his best and trusts the services of his insurance company.
2. The first question you should ask yourself is: "AM I DRIVING LEFT OR RIGHT?" The answer is: “As well as.” Basically, you start on the left side of the road as long as it is not occupied. In this case you turn to the right until this side is also tight. Then you use every free gap, following the pattern of the knight's jump in chess. Just trust your instincts, define your destination and accelerate. Never allow yourself to be distracted by traffic signs, they damage concentration and cause unpredictable problems. Most drivers do not “drive”, but aim at the destination with their vehicle. So never be discouraged or indecisive, because the other road users are no better off than you - unless they believe in rebirth.
3. Never hold up PEDESTRIAN CROSSINGS just because some enlightened ones think they can cross the street. If you do it anyway, then only if you like to be pushed from behind. Pedestrians have learned to only cross over when traffic has come to a standstill because a minister is in town. If an enlightened one crosses the street anyway, no one will weep for the dead.
4. The operation of the HORN is not a sign of protest in India as it is in other countries. Indians honk out of joy, sadness, falling in love, frustration, sheer pleasure in the sound or to pay homage to a holy cow meditating in the middle of the road.
5. NIGHT CRUISES are a breathtaking experience in India, similar to Russian roulette, as you never know how many of the other road users have "loaded". What appears like the first glimmer of sunrise on the horizon mostly turns out to be a truck trying to break its speed record. Shortly before the encounter, you should avoid the field next to the road until the apparition is over. Avoid flasher warnings, because the only thing enlightened in the truck is the driver, whose cerebral functions tend to zero at the last stop after enjoying a bottle of Arrak. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, they are licensed to kill. Often you will notice a mighty cone of light one meter above the ground - this is certainly not a modern superbike, but a one-eyed truck. Most of the time the right light is broken. It could be the one on the left, but avoid getting too close for verification - you could probably only explain your point of view posthumously.
6. Occasionally a brightly lit something comes towards you that looks like a UFO works with its multicolored flashing lights and the strange sounds that penetrate your ear from inside. In truth, this is an illuminated bus full of blessed pilgrims singing their psalms. These pilgrims travel at the pace of hell because they seek contact with the Almighty. Often they succeed in doing this.
7. AUTHORIKSCHA (TUK-TUK): A three-wheeled vehicle that was once the result of a collision between a bicycle and a small car and was mainly used as a taxi. Tuk-tuks simultaneously transport iron bars, gas bottles and passengers three times the weight and volume of the vehicle, on an unpredictable course. After careful geometrical and static calculations, children are also stacked and folded in these vehicles until the outermost children are no longer in contact with the body. Then their school bags are stuffed into the microscopic gaps that remain free to increase the stability of the truck, so that collisions with other vehicles do not cause any major damage to the tuk-tuk. Of course, the outside children only pay half the fare. Auto rickshaw drivers do not need a driver's license, but before handing over their license they have to prove that they saw the chariot race from “Ben Hur”.
8. Indian MOPEDS look like oil cans on wheels and sound like electric razors. You can travel fifty kilometers on a tablespoon of gasoline and travel at a speed close to the tip-over limit. Since the Indian roads are usually only tarred in the middle third of their total width and the moped chassis do not allow driving on the bumpy gravel shoulder, they have the tendency to travel in the middle of the lane. Due to their low speed, they usually do not drive around an oncoming vehicle, but pass under it, which means that they are virtually "mopped" by the asphalt.
9. ONE WAY STREET: This special form of a traffic route was invented by the ministerial councilors of the Indian Ministry of Transport in order to bring their little varied work to life. Free yourself from the narrowness of the purely literal definition and simply drive consistently in one direction. The metaphysical definition of the one-way street makes it clear that you can never drive in two directions at the same time! So just drive as you want, but only when you return if there is really no other way.
10. BUSES: Since bus drivers are paid according to the so-called overload formula (X rupees per KG passenger), the passengers hang like grapes from the bus during rush hour. If you are approached by a bus in a curve, whose peripheral passengers are clinging with their arms to those passengers whose hands are holding the running boards of the vehicle, trust that due to the immense grip of the bus due to the overloading, its ground friction is higher than the centrifugal force . Nevertheless, it is advisable to always keep a side clearance of three passenger lengths.
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