How common is oral sex in marriage

How to easily lose the desire for oral sex

Oral sex is wonderful, fun and, according to a large sex study, is for the most part part of making love - provided your partner knows what he / she is doing. Because some men and women always do it the same ... and always the same wrong. Maybe they just don't know any better.

It's hard to believe, but scientists have so far given little thought to the sexual behavior of Germans. A research group around the TU Braunschweig wanted to change that: They asked over 2,500 men and women about their sex life and compared the results with other countries. And we're not doing that badly at all. Because German women and men like and often have sex. You primarily prefer vaginal intercourse, followed by oral intercourse.

"Lick like a dog"

For almost everyone, oral sex is part of the act of love - regardless of whether it is the giver or the recipient. But it seems that some of them don't know what to do about it.

Even if fellatio is colloquially known as blowing or blowing, this oral sex practice has little to do with blowing. Even when licking or cunnilingus, you shouldn't stimulate your partner's vulva with your tongue as if you were a dog drinking water. Because it was certainly not since the movie "Keinohrhasen" that you have known that the right technique is what counts - with your tongue. That goes for sucking and licking. And if, like every second respondent, you like to stimulate your partner orally, you surely want it to be good yourself.

As you lick your partner, imagine that you are sucking a lollipop. You can also gently enclose it with your lips or let your tongue circle around it with relish so that you can taste the sweet piece intensely and enjoy it for a long time. Biting down or parking the lollipop in one cheek will not make you or the lollipop happy. Just as unexciting is too one-sided or too energetic kissing and licking during oral sex.

Another myth that is persistent among men and women based on a well-known movie is "Deep Throat" - the deeper a woman gets the man's penis in her mouth, the better it is for the man. So do these men and women believe that the woman's tonsils can additionally stimulate and massage the glans? Wow! Either these women have real magic almonds or they both don't yet know how much more fun the right tongue and lip technique can bring. A little sucking, massaging, nibbling, kissing, light blowing and more can bring so much more excitement to the partner than just dull, deep insertion. And: The fact that the woman really maintains control during oral sex not only has more fun, but also ensures optimal relaxation for him.

Swallow or spit?

The right choice of words is also important. Many comments from sex partners during foreplay spoil the fun of the pleasure - the fun of foreplay, oral sex and sex. Alone with the sentence "If you love me, you'll swallow", the hair stood on end. Sure, sometimes everything is right. According to a survey by Statista, one or two ejaculates find their way into the stomach of every third person. But seeing that as a proof of love is borderline. There are situations in which women and men just can't get their partner's juice down - for example if he or she has previously eaten something that has a negative effect on the smell and taste. Garlic makes semen taste sour. And beer, aspirin and asparagus also conjure up a palate rather than a tickle from the sirloin juice. If your partner then swallows, it is not a proof of love, but more like a test of courage.

"Blow job is safe babe"

But not only the behavior like "Like you to me, like me to you" or "It is a proof of love" of some sex partners make what is actually beautiful, intimate and exciting, a libido killer. There is one sentence that you can just roll your eyes with: "Oral sex is safe". Ok yeah Oral sex does not allow women to become pregnant. Already clear. You have known that at least since the BRAVO. Nevertheless, this sensual sucking, licking, sucking, blowing, nibbling and kissing on the penis or the vagina is unfortunately not quite as "safe" as many would like it to be. Because here, too, you can become infected with chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea and the like. Mmmmmmhhhh! Delicious!

So, now you are surely fed up with it, right? Nonsense! Because just the feeling when your loved one pampers you orally with his or her lips and tongue, you feel the tingling and tingling, you will remember why hardly anyone forego one of the most beautiful gestures in the world when making love would like to.

Jennifer Buchholz, Editor at, writes in her column "Lust, Vice, Love" about love, partnership and sex.