How am I admired

Expressing admiration: Out with it - but sincerely!

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Lack of Admiration: The Most Common Reasons

Hand on heart: When was the last time you went to another person and expressed your admiration?

A long time ago Then you feel like many others. Most people are reluctant to show admiration and appreciation.

  • The most common reason: those who express their admiration make themselves small. You admit that the other person is better in this area (which is important to you), has achieved more. Maybe even that you wish yourself to be a bit like the other person. Not every ego can do that.
  • The second reason: We are unsure how our admiration will be received by the other person. Certainly, we are not talking about literally falling on your knees or that you are writing a hymn of praise and also reciting it coram publico. But we also know that some people associate an intention with their praise. And we don't even want to get into this odor. This is often the case with bosses, for example: Nobody wants to be sloppy.

Not infrequently, however, it is also a question of mentality and the tone of voice in the group or company. Unfortunately, in many companies (but also in families) people do not speak openly about the benefits and services of others. A short one Well done or We are happy for you is the best you can hear. Really deeply felt admiration, however, remains unsaid.

A mistake.

Silent admirers are of no use to anyone. Neither those who are very likely to find out about the nice and motivating words would have been happy. Even the silent ones themselves. They miss the chance to build or deepen relationships. And last but not least, to get something back.

Because: Conversely, if you want to be praised yourself, you shouldn't be stingy!

Expressing Admiration: The Most Common Mistakes

However, there are other mistakes (and faux pas) that can be made once you express your admiration. Of course, this should be avoided. These include, for example:

  • Long talk about it. If you want to express your admiration, you shouldn't stay around the bush for long. Say what you admire. From the heart and straight out. Everything else looks like a teenager in love who stutters around the sentence for ten minutes: "I have a crush on you."
  • Exaggerated flattery. Admiration should always be sincere and honest. But also appropriate. Embellishments, exaggerations, superlatives all make it untrustworthy. Effect: The admiration sounds hollow. Or suspiciously for ulterior motives. Both feel embarrassing.
  • Inappropriate border crossing. There are clear limits, especially in the job. You can tell your colleague that you admire them for their organizational skills or their eloquence - but not for their firm bottom! Basically: In the professional environment, justified and objective recognition of achievements, competencies, talents is completely in order. Anything suggestive, on the other hand, is taboo. That alone belongs in the private sphere - and even there it doesn't exactly testify to charm and charisma.

Tips on how to properly express your admiration

But there are alternatives. As I said, expressing your admiration is not difficult. Below we have a few Recommendations and tips put together to help you:

  1. Do not wait too long

    Uncertainty and fear of reactions mean that we weigh our words countless times. Effect: The authenticity is flute. The admiration is put on, memorized, unwound. The best antidote: Just out with it! At the moment when you feel the admiration, you should also express it (not completely without your mind, of course!). Then it comes from the heart.

    Perhaps the most eloquent sentence will not come out of your lips. But he will be honest and act that way. That’s the only thing that matters. That also makes one or the other faux pas forgivable.

  2. Be specific

    Everything you do is just great ... Sounds good, will probably be received positively, but is far too generalized for true admiration. That makes such statements latently impersonal and cheap. After all, everyone can say.

    Try instead as concrete as possible to name what you appreciate and admire about others. Is it his way of dealing with stress? Always seeing things positively? His open manner towards other people? Or something that he / she has built and achieved? The possibilities are endless: So call the child by name!

  3. Refrain from making comparisons

    It is human to look for standards. When admiring, however, you should refrain from making comparisons: You're so much better at it than ... or XY could never do that ... - Such sentences do not put in the foreground what impresses you, but who might do worse. This praise always leaves a stale aftertaste.

    Incidentally, this also applies to yourself. Some admiration is introduced by the admirer making himself small: Why are you so much better at it than me? It's not just unnecessary. It also compels the other to say something like: "Oh come on, you can do that too!" Zack, now the admirer has to admire you, just out of politeness. Of course you can do it - but it is fishing for compliments and praise poisoned with it.

  4. ask for

    Expressing your admiration is a beautiful gesture. But you can and may also use the opportunity to learn something. So feel free to ask about the "secret of success": How you do that? How do you do that? What would your advice for me On the one hand, such questions underscore the sincerity of your admiration. And they are also flattering because your counterpart can now also give you something along the way.

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