How has self-awareness changed your life

What constitutes a healthy self-confidence?

A healthy level of self-confidence is just as helpful in professional life as it is in private life. Self-confident people deal with new challenges and problems more calmly. You radiate confidence and security. Even in conflict situations, they remain calm without appearing arrogant.

What does self-confidence mean?

When we hear the term self-esteem, we first think of a well-developed sense of self-worth and self-confidence. People who are convinced of themselves and their own abilities are therefore referred to as self-confident.

However, if you take the term “self-confidence” literally, the meaning changes. “To be aware of yourself” means first of all to know your own personality exactly. This includes all the peculiarities and character traits that make us special. Our competencies, strengths and abilities as well as our weaknesses, limits and fears.

Exaggerated or healthy self-esteem?

As with many other character traits, self-confidence depends on the right amount. There is a healthy level of self-esteem and an exaggerated or false self-esteem.

Exaggerated self-esteem

Do you know people who seem to be bursting with confidence? They like to be the center of attention, are loud and noticeable. There can be a certain fascination with them and some people admire them precisely because of this self-confidence. But as a rule, people with excessive self-confidence quickly come across as unsympathetic and arrogant.

In the case of people with excessive self-confidence, the question arises: what is real and what is pretend? Inferiority complexes can also hide behind the shimmering facade, which should be covered over by a loud appearance. These people like to compete for attention. They often find it difficult to bear when others are better than they are. Therefore, they react with envy and resentment to the successes of their colleagues. Teamwork is not her thing.

Sometimes we have to deal with people who simply grossly overestimate their own abilities and competencies. These “blenders” will sooner or later be exposed in professional life. The success is short-lived.

Healthy self-confidence

People with a healthy sense of self do not need to be thick. You are well aware of your skills and strengths. You also know your limits and weaknesses.

As a result, you have gained a realistic self-image and you can identify with this image. With these people we instinctively feel that they are at peace with themselves.

This healthy and reflected self-confidence is not apparent at first glance. But these people often exude a special form of calm and contentment. “Serenity is a graceful form of self-confidence,” wrote the Austrian writer Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach.

This makes people with a healthy self-confidence look very attractive and personable. They do not need envy and resentment and therefore allow others to enjoy their successes.

Only when you look closely can you recognize people with healthy self-confidence also by their external characteristics, e.g. by an open body language, attentive eye contact and clear formulations.

Can You Build Confidence?

Some people seem to have a naturally healthy sense of self. Others find it difficult. For them, it means hard work building self-esteem. As a rule, early childhood experiences and imprints are the reason for these differences.

The good news is that you can develop self-confidence. The way to do this is to be honest with yourself. This is known as self-reflection.

Real self-awareness requires self-reflection

Who am I and what defines me? Everyone has to answer these questions for themselves in order to achieve a healthy level of self-confidence. But it is well known that it is difficult to find out about yourself. This realization requires a lot of hard and ruthlessly honest thinking. It is about dealing with yourself and this is a very individual, lifelong and intensive process.

But it is precisely this self-reflection that is the first and most important step in building self-confidence. So answer the following questions for yourself:

  • What are my strengths?
  • Where are my weaknesses or limits?
  • Which basic values ​​do I live by?
  • How do I deal with my feelings?
  • What did i achieve? What am i proud of
  • How do I deal with mistakes and failures?
  • What am I afraid of?
  • What is my energy balance like?

A healthy self-confidence in the sense of self-confidence can be developed by anyone who is aware of their peculiarities and can accept themselves with all their peculiarities. The writer Ralph Waldo Emerson once put it this way: "To be yourself in a world that constantly wants you to be different is the greatest achievement."

This is how you build your self-esteem

Self-reflection is the most important and demanding step. These 11 tips and tricks can help you in everyday life:

1. Think positively!

You control your actions with your thoughts. So use positive language when talking to yourself. Do not say “I still have to” and “I am not allowed to”. Rather say, "I want to do this," "I will do this," or "I have the skills to do this."

2. Mistakes are there to be learned!

Mistakes happen. See mistakes as a way to learn and get better. So you can trust yourself more. There is always the risk that not everything will go perfectly. But this is the only way to keep getting better!

3. Avoid comparisons!

“I could never do that.” “He / she does it much better than me!” Constant comparisons damage self-confidence. Treat the others to their successes! Envy won't get you anywhere! It is better to concentrate on your own progress and successes.

4. Accept and respect others!

Don't be too quick to judge other people. Some people think very differently than we do. And that's a good thing. Remember: everyone has their own package to carry. Accept other people with their idiosyncrasies, strengths and weaknesses.

5. Pay attention to your body language!

Walk and stand up straight. Don't let your head droop in the truest sense of the word. This not only makes you look more confident on the outside. Much more counts: Your body language also influences your thoughts and mood. Try it out!

More on the topic: Body language - understanding the signals

6. Stay relaxed!

Did an embarrassing slip of the tongue make everyone laugh in the meeting? No problem! Don't take yourself too seriously and laugh at yourself from time to time.

7. Criticism is a gift!

Criticism is not pleasant and can quickly scratch your self-confidence. Especially when it is brought forward harshly. Even if it is difficult: Do not see criticism as an attack on yourself, but as a gift. A gift that will help you get to know yourself better and develop yourself.

8. Listen!

People with false self-esteem like to hear themselves talk. Do you need that? Who asks questions and listens, learns more about others.

Here you will find tips and background information on active listening

9. Compliments can be accepted!

A friendly "thank you" is the best response to a serious compliment. Attenuations such as “Oh, that wasn't difficult at all!” Are superfluous. Just enjoy the praise and the kind words!

10. Stand by your values ​​and expectations!

Do you know your values? Then do your part! Talk about your values ​​and ideas. This gives you respect, attracts fellow campaigners and thus also helps with implementation.

11. Successes are there to be celebrated!

We tend to downplay our successes. We often nibble on failure for much longer. Also record your successes - for example with a success diary.

6 tips for managers - how to strengthen the self-confidence of your employees

With their leadership behavior, managers have a great influence on the self-confidence and self-confidence of their employees.

These 6 guiding principles will help you to strengthen the self-confidence of your employees:

1. Use your strengths and talents correctly

Do you know the strengths of your employees? Everyone likes to do what they are good at and what is easy for them to do. Motivation arises automatically when you enjoy your work. Analyze the strengths and potentials of employees consciously and systematically. Test procedures that determine personality profiles, such as the ACES profile, will help you with this.

Seminar tip: Business Building Basics© Basics of leadership (BBB) ​​Recognize your own leadership style and use the ACES profile for leadership

2. Better delegate

Successful delegation is the best way to develop and praise employees and thus build their self-confidence. Make sure that you assess your employees correctly in terms of their motivation, skills and experience so that they are neither under-challenged nor overwhelmed with their tasks.

Read more about the art of delegating properly here.

3. Training and coaching

Encourage your employees to strive for further development and self-fulfillment. You can be happy when your employees are curious and willing to learn. With targeted training concepts, you can also offer the possibility of external training measures.

4. Recognition and appreciation

Studies, e.g. such as the annual Gallup study, show that a lack of recognition from direct supervisors is the number one motivation killer. As soon as we show employees that we appreciate their work, we ensure motivation and performance. With genuine praise or a pat on the back, you can make a big difference with little effort. Make every employee feel important to you and the company.

5. Have confidence

Trust your employees to do something! So grant freedom in solving the tasks. Of course you will control the results. However, this control should not express a lack of trust, but should be understood as support.

Here you will find many tips on the subject of "leadership based on trust"

6. A healthy error culture

A healthy corporate culture includes dealing constructively with individual mistakes. If mistakes do not result in punishment, but are analyzed together and thus lead to an optimization of processes and services, this has a motivating effect on the employees.

Can you build confidence through training?

Training can provide valuable impulses, especially when it comes to strengthening self-confidence. Building self-confidence is the overriding goal of all BEITRAINING seminars. Because this is where competencies are reflected on and further developed. This works equally well for leadership skills, communication skills, sales skills and self-organization skills. In addition to suitable methods and techniques, the participants also have the opportunity for self-reflection and practice in a protected environment.

Photo: Pixabay, Angelo Esslinger

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