Are guys really easy as they say
Girls and boys: the small difference
Pink or light blue? Flower skirts or dungarees? Excavator or doll's pram? Discovering your own gender, recognizing yourself as a girl or a boy - these are important developmental steps that cannot be withheld from children. In order to understand where they belong, they exaggerate the gender role between the ages of three and five: no children's costume party without a tulle princess and sheriff with a painted beard. Parents don't have to be frightened. Tulle and gun will eventually end up in the box in the attic - and the children will find their own gender role. Women and men no longer automatically commit to a role. They can't even afford that. "Our society needs women and men," says the education professor Lilian Fried from Dortmund, "who, when it comes down to it, can be both caring and assertive."
Many young parents are already working on balancing family and work; they share a lot of tasks. When children grow up following this example, they go into modern society well prepared.
Who prefers to cuddle?
Girls - probably because they were taught. Researchers say: female babies are cuddled more, girls get more strokes than little boys. Apparently, girls are unconsciously treated more tenderly, not only by their parents, but also by other family members and adults. This may be the reason why some boys, as they get older, are less likely to accept physical affection.
If you have a little cuddle grump at home, you can try to lure them inconspicuously: With boys, it is easier to cuddle through romping around. Tickling, tussling, throwing each other on the grass - they like that very much.
Who Throws Sand?
Boys like to measure their strengths, girls are caring. A prejudice?
No, say development researchers: girls and boys actually behave differently when dealing with other children and when playing.
Research shows: girls try to get on well with others and to communicate, they also help more quickly. Boys are more aggressive and assert themselves more successfully.
A legacy of our human history that we obviously cannot get rid of anytime soon: The man conquered new territories, fought with adversaries, defended family and property. Women took care of warm food, clothes and a good mood for everyone.
Who is screaming louder?
Of all babies presented to crying clinics, almost 70 percent are boys. Nobody knows exactly why. The difficulties in adapting to life outside the womb may be related to the fact that boys' nervous systems are less mature at birth than girls. It is also known that many male babies are more susceptible to stress than most female babies: If they are exposed to light but constant exposure (e.g. from noise), their cortisol level rises sharply; in girls, the amount of this stress hormone is more likely to increase due to a little excitement Not.
Who needs more patches?
Guys. Four times more boys than girls are treated in children's outpatient clinics after minor domestic accidents. The mini rambos are more likely to injure themselves because they are more willing to take risks. In her research on daring toddler behavior, Canadian psychologist Barbara Morrongiello found interesting things:
Firstly, significantly more girls than boys rate certain activities (daring climbing, for example) as dangerous.
Second, girls are more likely to avoid such dangers, while boys, even when they recognize a risk, do not believe that anything could really happen to them.
Third: Boys have a different attitude towards accidents, for them an injury is simply "bad luck", while girls blame themselves for it.
Who is sick more often?
As toddlers, boys are more likely to suffer from allergies and slightly more likely to suffer from infections than girls. That changes after puberty: Then allergies break out in more girls and they are absent from school more often due to illness. Overall, the development of boys is considered to be more susceptible to disorders: they make up the vast majority of hyperactive children and those who are bed-wetting and more often show language disorders (stuttering, developmental delay) than girls. Experts such as Renate Niesel, a qualified psychologist at the Munich State Institute for Early Childhood Education, warn against paying less attention to the health of girls, especially their mental health: "Perhaps the behavior of boys is only perceived more clearly. For example, depressive illnesses in children - and adolescence, from which girls are more often affected, often not recognized because the young people withdraw, do not attract attention and because their illness does not fit into the worldview of childhood. "
Who is a mommy child?
Children look closely. At around three years of age, they discover that they belong to a gender: girls are like women, boys like men. It's a difficult process for little boys: they have to set themselves apart from their mothers if they are to become a man. Girls can continue to orient themselves towards mom. And that is what they do: like boys, they learn from adult role models.
Because young parents today no longer stick to the old role models, want to change a lot, but cannot (yet) always be able to - mothers invest more time in childcare and household chores than fathers - children often experience traditional roles: the mother as caring and caring Father as more outward-looking. This forms the self-image of the little ones.
Three-year-old kindergarten children stated in a study: Girls play with dolls, help their mother, talk a lot, never hit each other, need help. The children are convinced that boys (boys and girls were interviewed) help their father, want to hit others, are cheeky and make other children cry.
Who is daddy's darling?
Many women are important in children's life: mother, educator, childminder. "Girls and boys need more opportunities to experience closeness and feelings from men," says gender researcher Lilian Fried. For a girl, dad is the first man in life, he has a decisive influence on the image of her man.
For boys, dad is the great role model. Whether girls and boys will one day be able to cope with the new demands of our society, the changed role model of men and women, depends largely on the father. How he gets involved in the family, whether he works and educates at home, and can also be gentle and caring at the same time.
Who is Better at Cooking Pudding?
None. Because all children like to do it: Working together with mom or dad, getting something that tastes good afterwards, is needed, can be shown. Educators say that girls are still more familiar with household chores, while boys learn to hammer and repair bicycles. This is old fashioned! Changing more often makes you fit for a society in which women and men want and should take on tasks that were previously reserved for the opposite sex. Children who are instructed in different tasks also benefit in their development: boys who prefer gross motor and movement-oriented activities improve their fine motor skills by peeling carrots and decorating cakes. Girls who are less fond of romping enjoy movement while kite flying or climbing trees.
Who dares to venture out into the big wide world?
This is Hänschen. What the nursery rhyme has been handed down for generations is actually true: Many little boys are fleeing nests, simply run around the next corner without taking care of their parents, even as kindergarten children march off with sleeping bags to spend the night with their neighbors.
Development experts say: This is also genetic. Neuroscientists have shown that men's spatial orientation is actually better developed than that of women. Little boys always seem to be sure: I'll find my way back home. And: boys are given more security by their parents. The Canadian psychologist Morrongiello states in her boy-girl study: Girls hear sentences like "Be careful!" Much more often than boys. or "Watch out!".
Who is playing with whom?
Boys like to get together in small groups of four to six boys. Girls feel comfortable in two or three constellations. More children mean more action - which is why little boy gangs in kindergarten or on the playground are more offensive than girls' cliques. Girls and boys benefit when they also play together. They get to know other behaviors and complement each other in terms of skills and interests. Boy-girl friendships are promoted through mutual invitations, joint parties, and trips by several families with many different children.
That makes girls and boys strong
- Cuddle extensively.
- Experience people from many angles: Dad rages around wildly, but also sings softly.
- Mama is nice, but also asserts herself.
- To be trusted to do something.
- Be praised for assertiveness.
- Be motivated to perform and act independently.
- Allowed to cry and to be comforted.
- Fathers and mothers who sometimes admit mistakes and weaknesses.
- Hearing that you are great, lovable, strong and smart.
- Experience how to resolve conflicts without shouting out loud.
- Not getting every inconvenience out of the way.
- Parents who set limits.
- Parents who give in sometimes.
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