Why do people hate and forget others

Resentful: That's why it's not worth it

A wrong word at the wrong time, a misunderstanding gesture, a pejorative look where enthusiasm was expected. The reasons to pissed off and pissed off to be are truly endless. Depending on the emotional strain, it then takes a few minutes, hours or, in particularly bad cases, days until the minds calm down again and a clarifying conversation brings reconciliation. Unless one of the two arguers is resentful. Resentful people simply cannot forgive and look ahead, dragging a disagreement out over months and years. Unsurprisingly, it's a very unpopular trait. We explain why you shouldn't hold grudges and what can help put an argument behind you and not bring it back on the table at every opportunity ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Resentful: I don't ...

Being resentful means never really closing an old argument. Instead, it is actually long forgotten Disagreement warmed up again and again, the allegations are simply rolled back and there is simply no end in sight. Typical sentences of resentful people are for example It's just like when you ... or I knew you would act like the last time you ...

Resentful people fail to really accept an apology and forgive the other person. Even if they say that everything is fine and the argument is over, they simply cannot overcome it. Those who hold grudges show their frustration time delay. At first, the argument may not be that big, a small argument, but apparently nothing earth-shattering.

You get to feel the true extent only at the next opportunityeven if you've asked for forgiveness and apologized several times.

With others, we hate resentful behavior and want to tell them every time how incredibly stressful and annoying it is - which in turn would lead to another endless argument. But what about yourself? Are you resentful? We have listed a few points that speak for a resentful character.

  • I find it hard to forgive others.
  • Disputes burden me for a very long time.
  • I get snapped very quickly.
  • I've heard many times that I hold a grudge.
  • I am bad at dealing with criticism.
  • I find it difficult to give someone a second chance.
  • I can't just forget when someone has offended me.
  • Anyone who has abused my trust does not need to try again afterwards.
  • I don't show my anger right away.
  • If I'm still angry, I'll be sure to let the culprit know.

Did you nod silently at many of these statements and recognize yourself? Then you should try something on your Behavior change, because resentful people are not only unpopular, they are also doing themselves no favors.

Why are people resentful at all?

Resentment is usually deeply rooted in the personality. The reasons for this can, however, be quite different. One possibility is about a very negative image of man in general. A misanthrope generally feels betrayed and believes that everyone only wants something bad for them. The result is an attitude of simply not really forgiving anyone because they don't deserve it either.

In psychology, however, resentful people often come up with a low self-esteem and low self-esteem connected. If the doubts about yourself are then confirmed from outside, it is incredibly difficult to get over them and to forgive others again.

But those who hold grudges may also enjoy it. It mediates a Feeling of power and satisfactionwhen others owe you something. In addition, resentful contemporaries can take revenge on others. The injustice should be compensated by repeatedly fighting back and persuading you to feel guilty.

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Resentful people harm themselves

Probably the most obvious problem resentful people are Relationships that break. Friends don't feel like having one and the same mistake rubbed under their noses umpteen times, after a while colleagues don't have the nerve to listen to old stories over and over and partnerships can also suffer greatly if one of the two is not in the Is able to leave an old quarrel behind.

Unsurprisingly, resentful behavior can make you lonely. Whoever only looks at past mistakes is extremely petty, openly demonstrates that he is not interested in a functioning relationship and makes it practically impossible for the other person to make amends for his wrongdoing. In the long run, nobody would want to have anything to do with someone like that.

In addition to the social effects, resentful people also harm themselves directly. If you cannot accept excuses and instead give in to your resentment and anger for weeks and months, your health suffers. The longer you hold a grudge, the greater the risk that your immune system will weaken and you will actually get physically ill.

This will make you less resentful

The bad news first, you probably won't be able to stop holding up resentments overnight. It's way too much of a bad habit and part of your personality for that. The good news however, is that you can do something about it and learn to control your resentful behavior.

We have some tipsthat can help you:

  • Improve Your Confidence

    The greater your self-confidence, the less you will be offended or burdened with a derogatory comment on your idea. Criticism only becomes a long-term problem for you if you yourself feel personally attacked. If, on the other hand, you just stand over it and don't let yourself be influenced by it, you will no longer hold grudges.

  • Really listen

    Resentful people tend to take everything personally and also themselves offended by trifles to feel. It goes so far that those around you have to be careful and think carefully about every word in order not to accidentally offend you and to have to listen to how insensitive it was for the next few months.

    It's a small step, but it's going in the right direction: Stop talking to friends or colleagues to be interpreted negatively and to interpret something that is probably not there. Instead, work on really listening, facilitating an exchange, and not just waiting for an opportunity to be outraged.

  • Change your point of view

    Do you know how exhausting your resentful behavior for others is? Probably not, so you should try to put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor. Imagine someone presenting you with ancient stories over and over again and constantly confronting you with mistakes that were months ago.

    Nobody wants to be constantly reminded of their own missteps, especially not after what feels like countless excuses and assurances that it will not happen again in the future. She'd be just as annoyed by that, so make up your mind as you do Appear towards those around you want.

  • Look ahead

    Whoever is resentful only lives in the past. Everything revolves around things that can no longer be changed anyway. Learn to look ahead and do not judge a person based on just one situation. There will always be arguments and disagreements, but you should be able to put them behind you.

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[Photo credit: Dmytro Zinkevych by Shutterstock.com]