What was over before it started

Gone before it even started

Good evening dear ones,

I'm Clara and I'm new to the forum. I came here because I was looking for help / advice / opinions from you

Where should I start. In November last year a new colleague started working for us. I didn't really like him as a first impression and I didn't have much to do with him either, since he was hired as a student trainee and only worked by the hour. A few weeks after he was hired, a few colleagues (including him and me) went to the Christmas market and it was a really nice and fun evening. There I talked to him for the first time more than the obligatory hello and goodbye at work - and immediately I thought he wasn’t as wrong as I thought, but rather nice and great to talk to. Well, as already mentioned, it was a great evening and that's where it stayed. We had just as little to do with each other afterwards as before. Then came our Christmas party. he came a little later because he was still at university and then sat down next to me, tried to talk to me and did nothing else the whole evening. At some point we were the last and actually chatted all night at the company (absolutely nothing went). After that we saw each other at work for another day and then it was company vacation. We had been in contact via WhatsApp since the Christmas party and wrote every 1-2 days. everything was very relaxed, but nice and familiar, sometimes something came from him, sometimes from me and it went back and forth in such a relaxed manner until March.
In the new year we met for the first time and we kissed goodbye. more meetings followed, we kissed again and yet everything was totally relaxed between us. until he suddenly wanted TOO MUCH. He's already talked about getting married, about children, etc. He's really very romantic and the woman who's going to be his wife will have a really good time with him, I know that one hundred percent. But it was too much for me, it happened too quickly and it all overwhelmed me. that's exactly how I told him and explained it to him. After 2-3 times he understood that, apologized and also realized that our ideas diverge too far. We could still get on well with each other and wrote often, but no longer on a flirty basis, but more relaxed and carefree.
In March he was fired from us (he was a slouch when it comes to work, but that's not the point now) and I had the feeling that he turned away from me more. I spoke to him about it a few times and also told him that I would accept it if he no longer wanted contact, but I would like to know where I am and do not want to be left empty. In other words: you can tell me your honest opinion, because I am also a very honest person and prefer it that way than not knowing what is going on.
. he kept saying that everything was fine. At some point it was all a bit too stupid for me and I didn't ask any more and then nothing came from him. At first I didn't think anything about it. Until he had his last day at work with us in mid-April and just didn't come back. without logging in. and he still had things from the company like laptop, keys, network plug, laptop bag, books, etc. He did not respond to calls, messages and e-mails. A friend of his, who also works for us, then fetched the things from him and brought them to the company.
Since I work in the personnel department or administration, I still had his last pay slip and his job reference on my table this week. I sent that to him directly by post, I thought attempts to contact would just be ignored again anyway. On Tuesday evening it burst out of me anyway and I wrote him that it was a mega shitty action of his not to give back company property for the time being and to ignore us (especially me) so badly that it wasn't an adult Is behavior and nobody from the company has done anything to him. Of course there was no answer from him. I didn't expect that either (but I hoped inside).
Now to my questions floating around in my head. can somebody neutral explain why he simply doesn’t come to the company on the last day, withholding property and ignoring us (he really got on well with everyone and always signaled to us that everything was okay)? And especially. why is he ignoring me so suddenly? Do you think something will come again? Should I try again (maybe in a few months)?
What should I do?

I am grateful for every piece of advice and every assessment and I would also like to thank everyone who read through my evening complaints and, of course, many thanks in advance for hopefully a lot of help.

Have a carefree evening.
Kind regards

25.04.2019 22:09 • #1