Do stepfathers respect the biological father

Can a Stepfather and Stepson Relationship Work Well?


I am in a relationship with a woman with a 6 year old son. I entered his life when he was 4 and so far we've had a very close relationship. He seems to be listening to me, likes to deal with me and also takes more assignments from me than from his mother. I am not married to this woman yet. I really love her and she is a great woman.

But I'm not sure a stepfather and stepson relationship will ever go well. All of the examples I've heard or seen have been terrible. Has anyone heard of a stepson who treated his stepfather and stepfathers with respect?

Please tell me whether and how well you have personally heard about a case that has proven to be good.




Reply:


Can a Stepfather Have a Good Relationship with a Stepson? Absolutely!

I know some stepfather-stepson relationships that I think are good. They range from rather cool mutual respect (two brothers I was friends with as teenagers opposite their stepfather) to indistinguishable biological father-son relationships (some of my father friends and some of my friends who women were married to) children from previous relationships).

I have a better relationship with my stepfather, who married my mother at the age of 37, than with my birth father.

What can you do to get it working? It sounds like it's just about doing what you did. You were introduced to the boy at an age when he is much less likely to hold grudges against you or see you as a "surrogate father". You have already established a close relationship.

There is no magical advantage to a biological relationship when it comes to parenting.

Step parents ... adoptive parents ... it doesn't matter. If anything, you have the advantage of not only being willingly parents, but also knowing in advance what your son will be like.

For additional insight, you may want to review the answers to this question.


A resounding YES !!

I am now a stepfather of almost 20 years. The youngest is now in his early twenties and we get along really well. I am good friends with all children - as far as I can.

All I can do is provide very simple advice that is likely to apply to whether or not you are a stepparent. Treat them with respect and they will likely do the same. Don't expect them to treat you with respect, but they probably will anyway.

There is a moment that will shake your world - then you get the answer that I don't have to do anything you say - you're just a friend of my mom! Plan your response early to avoid unnecessary heartache. I answered You are absolutely right! and went away. :)

I look at it like I've skipped all of the diaper changing stuff and got used to the good things early on, although a free passage through the teenage years would have been nice. :)


Oh heavens! You're doing great with this kid. I had a stepfather late after my father died. Things were pretty pessimistic at first ... but the most important thing was that my stepfather was there for me, really interested in the outcomes of my life choices, and told me things like a father would.

And you know, I never called him "Dad" or "Pop" or "Father", just his first name. It bothered him inside for a while, he confided in me later in life, but then he got along with it ... calling my first name became a lovable term and that was enough for him.


Answer to the question: Yes.

Stop watching television and movies for relationship advice. They usually have dysfunctional relationships written by someone who is a great writer because they were in a dysfunctional relationship.

I met with my current wife when her son was 5 years old. I didn't like the child until he was about 18 years old. We had a mutual dislike, but he did what I said when it was warranted. He accepted my advice (cannot be followed) when he needed it. And one day before he turned 18 we did it. Since then, I think it's what the two of us always wanted.

You worry about it. If you keep telling yourself, "This is just going to crush you every day," then it will.

Bottom line: just be the best dad you can be and the rest of the crap will fall in line.


My stepfather is a very good one. I respect him to the fullest. Everything can work.

I'm 13. I trust he has my back. no matter what, i love him very much. I've only known him for six months, but it feels like I've known him all my life.

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