Why can people not appreciate themselves

3 key factors to learning to appreciate yourself

Last update: 13 August, 2018

You've probably heard a thousand times that it's important to learn to appreciate yourself. If your living conditions were favorable, you probably have no problem ascribing that self-worth to yourself or understanding how it shows in practice. However, if you've had experiences that have made you question your self-worth, you may not know what to do to be able to appreciate yourself again.

Learning to appreciate yourself means finding a way to get, accept, and internalize the thought that you are a person who is worth just as much as any other person. That no one is worth more than you and that you, like everyone else, are able to achieve what you set out to do. Also that you don't need any techniques and strategies to hide, defend yourself or stand up to those around you in order to preserve your own worth.

"You, like every other person in the universe, deserve your love and affection."


Turning poor self-esteem into good self-esteem is not easy. It takes time, effort, and patience. The good news is that it is possible. It is by no means the case that you can get to a point where you are completely satisfied with who you are and what you have been. At some point you haven't reached a level where you no longer have any doubts. It is about restoring some aspects so that the lack of self-worth does not limit our lives. So let's look at three key factors in learning to appreciate yourself below.

Tips to learn to appreciate yourself

1. Be yourself

The sentence "Be yourself!" is in no way strange. But how do we do that? How can we connect with ourselves to show ourselves as we are? We don't want to give you a secret recipe or create false optimism. The truth is, being yourself is not easy, especially after having had experiences where the only way to survive was not to be yourself. Very restrictive environments want to achieve just that: They want to break with our will to be ourselves.

For example, if you grew up in an overly critical environment or have been surrounded by one for a long time, it is not easy to develop self-confidence. and of course not learning to appreciate yourself. Exactly the opposite is the case. You are convinced that what you are is worth little or nothing. Therefore you want to negate or minimize your true being.

The only way to start being yourself is to be authentic. In other words, it helps a lot not to think too long before acting or speaking. You are already programmed to prefer not to do or not to say something. That means you shouldn't obey that little voice. That you should take the risk of simply acting without first planning in great detail what comes next. That when you speak you should let yourself drift away from everything that gradually comes into your head. Start with simple situations and gradually move on to more difficult ones. You will get nowhere if you are not consistent about something.

2. Face fears and especially the fear of failure

Defeat is an oversized concept, especially with people who don't know how to learn to appreciate themselves. If we take a closer look at this, we notice that everyone is wrong thousands of times and that we are only correct a few times in comparison.

Mistakes and failures are our daily bread. So out for success these days that many suffer from fear of failure. These people forget that it happens very rarely and that it is insanely extraordinary that a great success is achieved without countless failed attempts.

When you let your fear get overwhelmed, especially the fear of failure, it is impossible to learn to appreciate yourself. If someone needs to highlight their greatest strengths, it is when they fail, not when they are successful.

3. Accept boundaries without complaining

Nothing beats being insightful in order to learn to appreciate yourself. Insight does not mean to give up on everything, but to understand how vulnerable human dignity is. Also to accept that we are part of this human race, which is full of mistakes, weaknesses and emptiness. If we have a strong self-love, it doesn't scare us and we don't feel inferior because of it.

There are personal boundaries and boundaries that reality puts in front of our noses. Nobody is exempt from it. That, or the tendency to deny difficulties that arise whenever we get closer to our goals, is a typical attitude of narcissists. Why should reality give us a special place in their plans so that it can be easy for us to get what we want?

This narcissism doesn't mean over-appreciating yourself. It's more like misjudging yourself. A narcissistic person looks at himself from the outside and wants to admire what he sees. Self-love, however, means confirming from the inside out what we are as a whole, including the best and all other aspects of ourselves.

It's not about how you see yourself from the outside, but how you feel from the inside.

Learning to appreciate yourself is a task we should all undertake. This is not a trend. Much of our well-being depends on feeling self-affirming. When there is no self-esteem, it is time to pause and rethink our path.

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