How do I stop being overly friendly
Excessive kindness, another way of harming us
There are all sorts of people, some of whom with our help make our walk easier and others who are like stones in the street You don't make it easy for us. Each of us decides who is by his side and who people are limited to in order to avoid setbacks.
Have you ever wondered? Why are there people who are always ready to help?, And what motivates you, even if you don't ask for support? It's about people who are friendly and always ready to help.
We can believe that kindness is always good because it helps us maintain our well-being, but not when the limits are exceeded. and you act kindly at all times. It's about toxic kindness, an incredible way in which we forget ourselves when we are aware of others.
"Sometimes we are so nice that we forget ourselves and let others go about us. We believe that we always have to be good and begin to understand ourselves."
Excessive kindness when I blur
Sometimes we give so much for others, we stop thinking about ourselves. Think of the typical situation where a mother does everything she can for the welfare of her children and cares for them so much that she forgets about her own needs.
This does not mean that it is wrong to do something for the other, just to focus on it.So we have situations in which we want to please others, either because they ask us for help or because we believe without believing that they need us and we offer them that they will feel good under all circumstances.
Although you don't believe that being too kind can interfere, Sometimes we don't let the other do what they want because we are ahead of them. So we focus so much on what we need for the other person and we forget what we need.
In this way, we blur, we become invisible thanks to our own actions. Since we are always aware of the other, we sit down last. It's a way of getting past us to downplay.
When I can't say no because of my excessive kindness
It can also happen that we give friendliness a very high value. Just like we believe we should be kind, we don't set limits and we always say yes to everything. We are ready for what they ask of us to be good people.
What's happening? If it's things that don't bother you, then nothing is wrong, but imagine that you have to be in an uncomfortable situation when you are nice. Would you be willing to just make yourself feel for being kind ??
Many times when we fall into this trap we believe that in order to be good people we have to accept what they ask us, Well, we like others and we are good with them. But what about us? No end is appropriate, you can be kind by setting limits so that you don't override yourself or be left by others.
Cons of excessive friendliness
Toxic kindness creates a number of obstacles for us and our environment. So check out the following cons so you don't forget yourself too well:
- Low self-esteem.
- Less self-awareness.
- Less authentic relationships.
- Feedback from the feeling of guilt.
- Increase reliance on relationships.
- Greater fear.
- You can always increase the need for approval from others.
These are just a few of the disadvantages of toxic goodness. It's like a vicious circle in which we forget ourselves. Our worth decreases and we create relationships that can cause us suffering because we are always waiting for what the other needs.
Then, When the other is not there, we don't know what to do because we always act for them. Just like when you get angry because we are not used to thinking about each other when the other is not available.
"I get further and further away from myself as soon as I take you as a priority at all times".
Strategies for not being too friendly
Well, While excessive kindness can become a part of us, there are ways we can be healthier. This gives us the value we deserve and has more authentic and fluid relationships.
- Set limits. Let people know how far they can go with you. That is, telling them things that bothers you, what you wouldn't do, what bothers you, etc. So people know what things you can and can't ask.
- Say goodbye to guilt.Sometimes you have to say no. Stop feeling guilty about doing a favor or not always being to other people. You don't have to, and that doesn't mean that you stop being nice, but that you think you are important too.
- Make a list of your priorities.You can still be for other people without leaving you aside. Get organized and decide what are the most important things in your life. So you know what time you have for others and when you can be there for them.
- Recognize yourself. That way, you know what you want, and it's easier to set priorities and boundaries for others. You will understand in detail your feelings and thoughts, and you will understand why they are costing you attention.
As you can see, it's about worrying about you. It won't be that complicated because if you already know how to treat other people well, surely you can do it with you. Then don't forget that Kindness is important, but in its proportionate measure.
The price of being excessively kind is to leave us aside.To give your fair share of kindness, you need to trust and value yourself. Only when you appreciate it and understand how important you are will you understand that there is no one above you.
Remember that too Although your intentions are the best, there are those who may take advantage of your excessive kindness, They know they are getting what they want because you always say yes. Focus on yourself, set priorities and set limits. Your strength is in you.How To Be Kind To You Sometimes we care so much about others that we forget ourselves. We show understanding and attention to others without reminding ourselves that it is important to be with yourself. Read more
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