As a student, you were homesick

1 year of study and still homesick

amalia30  📅 16.10.2012 14:42:08
1 year of study and still homesick
Dear Foris ...
I have the following problem ... I am a student, also a relatively labor-intensive subject and have been studying for a year now ... I drive home every weekend and have a great bond with my mother (only child) and unfortunately my grandma passed away a year ago. Well, I didn't get into a university that I can commute to.
My way of thinking is that you really only have so little of your parents that you should spend a lot of time with them and not leave home as quickly as possible .. and my problem is simply that I am still homesick .. the 2 days there are just too few at home and during the week I suffer totally that I'm not at home and have life with my mum, or notice it ... even when I'm distracted, there is a shadow over everything ..
Of course I've made friends here, but they're not really a family substitute for me either .. do you have any tips on what I could do?
best regards
Leela *  📅 16.10.2012 15:08:49
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
Did you go to see your parents every weekend?

You can't cut yourself off from your parents like that.
I wouldn't commute every weekend if I were you.

Then you get to know your acquaintances / friends in your university town much better. Do something with them on the weekend. In my experience, the more integrated you are, the less homesick you are.

Certainly some people find that more difficult than others. But at some point you have to be able to live alone, without your parents, without getting homesick.
If you don't go to see your parents every weekend, that doesn't mean that you don't see anything from their life.
For example, I talk to my parents on the phone regularly. Then you get everything.

I wish you success!
yyu  📅 16.10.2012 15:12:23
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
If you can't find a university near your first place of residence to move to, I think the only thing left is to work on you. Think of it this way: Many students have no way of going home every week. You're already privileged to be able to see your mother often.
I will now spare you the usual songs of praise for becoming self-employed. Doesn't it help, for example, to make a short phone call every evening or something similar?
Maybe your student room (do you live alone or in a shared flat?) Is not the right one, and moving to the place of study would be helpful? Or looking for leisure activities in a group? I honestly fear you have to come to terms with your situation.
JuraFR  📅 16.10.2012 15:13:03
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
1. Friends are not a substitute for family, they are friends. Parents shouldn't be a substitute for friends either.

2. Of course, if you are at home every weekend, you cannot develop a sufficient life of your own to avoid homesickness.

3. Why do you have so little from your parents? You're there every weekend and you probably spend more time with them than with your friends.

My tip: drive home less. Maybe only every other weekend or every three weeks. You can still call her and talk to her on the phone, you don't have to break away from her in any way or hear anything from her.

But now you have to build your own life and that also means that you design your weekend yourself and not always be with your mother. If you don't change anything about it, you will always be homesick, because for you there is only university = work and mom = free time. And in the end you move back in with her after your studies The process of cutting the cord doesn't have to be easy, but it is necessary for your own development.

I only see my parents every few months and yet we have a great relationship and I am well informed about what is going on at home. But we are now living two different lives and that's a good thing, otherwise one of them would have to limit his life considerably.
I understand  📅 16.10.2012 16:23:29
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick

I can understand you. I am currently in the same situation as you.
Just, I'm studying in a city that I can commute to. Nevertheless, I rented my own apartment because I thought it would be an advantage for me. No, that's not the case.
The study city is very beautiful, I also got to know people who have grown very close to my heart and with whom I have close contact.
Spending time with my family is a completely different matter. Nobody can replace it and if I'm honest I don't want to miss it either.
I have a very close bond with my family and my old town. I don't know ... I miss all of this in my new place of residence. It's just not the same.

I like both cities, but my hometown is just connected with so many memories etc. where I just feel most comfortable.

For this reason, I will soon move back and just commute (about 36 minutes by train and 20 minutes by bus - that's possible). I like to sacrifice this time when I just feel the way I want to. :-)

No idea .. well, I'm not an only child, I still have siblings, etc., we quarrel within the family and everything ... but then something is still missing. Something that you loved to have around you ...

I just don't want to miss that ...

Maybe you will soon find an alternative ... without having to "distract" yourself somehow? So that you have your family close by.
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
Don't go home that often. Maybe first every 2 weeks and then stretch the time further. Call home often (every day or almost every day). Skype would be another variant.

You have to cut yourself off otherwise you will never become self-employed.
Amalia 20  📅 16.10.2012 21:58:38
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
Thanks for the answers .. but somehow it's not about being independent. On the contrary, I manage my life totally independently ... and have been for years. It's just the people I miss. Why should you be so far away from the people you love? I do not get it
debt collection  📅 16.10.2012 22:05:32
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
that would not have happened with lover!
Anonymous  📅 16.10.2012 22:14:22
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
debt collection wrote:
> that would not have happened with lover!

you mean with you as a lover?
uh  📅 16.10.2012 23:39:07
Re: 1 year of study and still homesick
Uh, yes. It is precisely because of the lovers that I want to go back. I get him in my hometown in which I am often.
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